Unlocking Codewords: How to Decode Hidden Language and Connect More Meaningfully
Code words or buzzwords have remarkable power. They’re shortcuts to belonging, signaling that someone understands a particular worldview or values system. They help people find their tribe, but they also create invisible walls, subtly defining who’s in and who’s out. Whether it’s the language of spirituality or the jargon of internet entrepreneurs, these codewords carry more than their literal meaning. But what happens when buzzwords lose their substance? When they become tools for signaling rather than connection?
A pair of parties in Southern California taught me more about the power—and hypocrisy—of buzzwords than I expected.
A few weeks before I was set to move out to Santa Monica in 2015, I visited LA and San Diego with my boyfriend and another friend of ours. Two parties presented entirely different worlds.
At a mansion in the hills of Hollywood, we spent the day with a bunch of semi-famous internet entrepreneurs. The scene was complete with a pool, hot tub, and stunning views. A squad of women hung around the pool and I couldn’t keep my eyes off them. They were dressed to the nines in 4 inch heels, 1 inch thick makeup, and armed with 2-foot-long selfie sticks.
They spent the entire party posing alone or with one another, taking selfies. They didn’t care to talk to anyone else there, not even the good-looking men who were eyeing them from across the pool. They didn’t get in the pool, they didn’t eat, they didn’t socialize except when they smoked a joint. It was the most superficial display I had ever seen, but they were completely comfortable with themselves.
Contrast that with a party we went to later that night. This one was set in San Diego, at the house of an acquaintance. It was his birthday and there were fire throwers, flame swallowers—really, everything one needs to throw a birthday party. Again, the place was filled with entrepreneurs and “change-makers” and people who call themselves visionaries. Within about five minutes, I heard the word “consciousness” three times. Within the next hour, I heard it at least ten more.
“Is he conscious? Cause I don’t want to work with him if he isn’t.”
“Is she high vibe? I don’t want low vibes to mess up my groove.”
In fact, as I thought about the Facebook invite for the party that had been sent out, every attendee was encouraged to bring “good vibes only.” In other words, stay home if you have the sads.
In the meantime, one of the consciousness pedallers was hitting on my boyfriend, at least a handful of people were rolling on ecstasy and sacked out on love sacs, and I was getting irritated.
I couldn’t help but compare the San Diego party to the Hollywood party. The Dress-Up Dolls, with their selfie sticks and their obsession with their looks, were unapologetically who they were. And they enjoyed it. They actually had no code words like “consciousness” because they didn’t bother trying to signal to anyone else what they were about. In contrast, this crowd felt the need to constantly use code words to signal that they “get it,” that they’re part of the in-crowd. That they’re conscious. Although it seemed like they were almost completely unaware of how they truly showed up in the world.
These kinds of codewords have a purpose: to unite small niche groups. To help people find their people. These people clearly were not my people, and that’s okay. But these experiences revealed to me that these codewords have a shadowy underbelly to them. While they may be helpful on the surface, they create division. Substitute “conscious” with spiritual, or rich, and what do you get? Can you imagine if someone said “Is he rich? Cause I don’t want to work with him he isn’t.”
The word “conscious” as a codeword seems to have faded from the spiritual community, but it’s been replaced by statements like “I’ve got the codes,” which I’ve heard from spiritual communities and teachers all over the States, or any sort of hint that one does plant medicine or owns Bitcoin. Just talking about those two topics is like a litmus test: are you like me or not?
If there’s one thing those Southern California parties taught me, it’s this: the power of buzzwords lies in how we use them. They can unite or divide, clarify or obscure, inspire or alienate.
Ultimately, buzzwords can only take us so far. They’re useful as tools for connection and shared identity, but they’re no substitute for substance. When overused or relied on too heavily, they can turn into barriers—keeping us from engaging with others (and ourselves) on a deeper level.
The Secret Power of Understanding Code Words and Buzz Words
Sleuthing out a group’s codewords can reveal a lot about its values, priorities, and underlying dynamics. These words often serve as shorthand for the group’s shared beliefs or aspirations, providing a glimpse into what the group holds sacred—or what it wants others to think it holds sacred.
For example, a business community that constantly uses terms like “innovation,” “scaling,” and “disruption” likely prizes growth and novelty, potentially at the expense of stability, tradition, or the potential negative impact of rapid change.
A spiritual circle that leans heavily on words like “alignment,” “energy,” and “manifestation” may prioritize personal transformation and esoteric practices, potentially at the expense of grounded action, critical thinking, or inclusivity for those with non-spiritual perspectives.
Paying attention to the frequency and context of these words can also uncover the group’s blind spots or insecurities. Are the buzzwords being used to inspire genuine connection, or to create a veneer of exclusivity? By decoding the language, you gain a window into the group’s collective psyche, helping you decide whether you align with their values—or whether you might want to keep your distance.
Working With Buzzwords
Once you recognize a group’s buzzwords, the challenge is engaging with them in a way that’s intentional:
Look for Patterns: What words or phrases seem to pop up in conversations, social media posts, or event invites?
Note Context: Are these words being used to unite, inspire, or exclude? For example, “good vibes only” might sound positive, but it can also act as a subtle dismissal of real, messy emotions.
Question the Meaning: Ask yourself what these words mean in practice. If “consciousness” is a group’s rallying cry, what actions or behaviors actually demonstrate it?
Reclaim the Meaning: If you’re using a buzzword, ask yourself what it truly means to you. For example, if you talk about being “high vibe,” does that mean avoiding discomfort, or does it mean striving for resilience and positivity while embracing life’s challenges?
Invite Depth: Use buzzwords as starting points for deeper conversations rather than endpoints. When someone mentions “the codes,” ask them what those codes mean to them and how they’ve applied them in their life.
Balance Belonging with Openness: Buzzwords can build belonging, but be mindful of their potential to exclude. Aim to include others in the conversation, even if they don’t immediately speak the same language.
Embrace Authenticity: Instead of relying on buzzwords to signal your values, let your actions and presence speak for you. The most “conscious” people rarely have to declare it—it’s evident in how they show up.
Buzzwords are part of the human tendency to simplify and categorize, but they work best when used sparingly and intentionally. The next time you hear or use a buzzword, ask yourself: Does this word connect or separate? Does it clarify or complicate? Does it invite depth, or stop the conversation before it starts
And by the way, it’s not just social groups that lean on buzzwords. Marketing and news media have mastered their use to capture attention and sway opinion. In advertising, buzzwords like “organic,” “disruptive,” or “sustainable” often imply more than they deliver, banking on emotional resonance rather than concrete results.
Similarly, in news, words like “crisis,” “unprecedented,” or “breaking” amplify urgency, even when the context doesn’t deserve it. These buzzwords manipulate perceptions, creating a sense of immediacy or alignment while blurring or avoiding nuance and depth. The common use of these terms highlights how deeply ingrained our reliance on buzzwords has become, shaping how we consume and respond to information.
Buzzwords can be useful, even necessary, as tools for connection and shared understanding. But they’re not a substitute for substance. True connection, understanding, and progress don’t come from the words we say, but from the meaning behind them—and the actions that follow. Buzzwords may be powerful, but their greatest potential lies in how—dare I say it—consciously we choose to use them.
Really enjoyed this. Do you find those who use codes are always aware they're using them? Someones Meta-awareness of codes adds another layer of obscurity.
All these suggest people are always playing status games, some are shallow 'new money' displays (the girls with selfie sticks), whereas others are intentionally opaque so as to maintain the appearance of layered cultural cachet (often, but not always) as a way to offset more conspicuous status forms.